Sometimes you fall down and hit you real bad

Hello sunny lovely one’s πŸ’›πŸŒ»

Today I woke up at the hospital, because as you may noticed yesterday, I got a big seizure and hit my head, leg and left shoulder real bad.

So they kept me over night because when I got to the emergency last night I still had spasms. Now after a good night’s sleep they are also gone.

So later today I will go home and rest. πŸŒΊπŸ’›

HURTS like hell

Hello my favourite tomatoes πŸ’›

This is the face of yours truly which just had a grand mal seizures. I sat on the toilet and started having spasms and then it got into a whole grand mal seizure. I fell and hurt my shoulder and my head, so right now I don’t feel great.

I just went back to bed after laying on the floor in the bathroom for a while. This is the life with #epilepsy and seizures.

Hopefully I feel better tomorrow

Living with mental illness

Hi my lovelies πŸ’›πŸŒ»

Today I think we need to talk about living with mental illnesses. I was only 19 when I crashed into the wall of my own feelings and it just said BOOM! The stigma surrounding mentally ill and people with mental health problems is both very difficult and important to talk about, because people don’t see you as sick, because you don’t look sick.

I’ve heard this since the day it said boom and I couldn’t move from Antons arms because I was so afraid and scared. I have been told, while having an anxiety attack, that I needed just to “shake it of” and “grow up”. Well that’s not me. At least not anymore. Because for a long time after I got sick, I thought if I didn’t talk about it, it didn’t exist. But that lead to another crash and I had to learn how to talk about my feelings and dealing with them.

Now I am like an open book, almost. To function as a person and to cope with my feelings and dealing with anxiety and depression, I need to talk about how I feel and not just with a professional, I need to talk to my family and friends about my feelings. I write almost every night in a “mental journal” about my feelings just to kinda talk and sort out my feelings.

Now I know that I need to rest alot, that my body doesn’t work like everybody else does. Yes it sounds weird doesn’t it? But after learning the hard way, I’m now kinda proud of my self, learning to say no to things because I don’t have the energy to do it.

And now it’s been 2 years since my last mental breakdown. I still have anxiety and is depressed, but now I have the tools to cope with it. My therapist and I are working together to make sure that I have the tools for a better life. So the latest may seem easy for you, but for me personally it’s been a struggle. Since my first mental breakdown I’ve struggled with planning things (even before that) and never really used and understood why people have schedules of their days and day planners. But now, I am a slave for planning what I need to do with everything. And this is so I don’t use up all of my energy in just doing ONE thing.

Yes I know ?! It sounds soooooo basic, but this is my truth about my life. Without planning and sleeping, I am a no go and skips out of everything you may ask me. So basically now you know a little how its been for me living with mental illness.

Follow me around, with epilepsy

Hello my mystic creatures πŸ‘ΎπŸ§šβ€β™€οΈπŸ§žβ€β™€οΈπŸ§œβ€β™€οΈ

Today I thought it would be a good idea to just look into my life, how it looks when I have bad days and with that I mean days with seizures (or anxiety, but yesterday was seizures).

So let’s start!

I woke up, had alot of spasms/ myclonic seizures, Anton told me and I went back to bed and took this amazing picture.

Hey, life is you on my side today? Nope!

Anton went to work, took Jizza with him. I slept and slept and woke up around 12 again. So I got up to eat, but because I had spasms and they had not stop and I needed to microwave the food in the fridge, I ate ricecake and drank water. Mmmm yum!

Next, I went back to bed, now I managed my self to change the sheets and took a new nap.

Well when I woke up I’ve gotten 4 missed calls and 3 messages on messenger… I woke up at 18.40 ……πŸ™„

Yep, my brain was extremely tired and I couldn’t do anything else but sleep.

When Anton got home he feed me properly and then we talked and I snuggled with Jizza a bit then it was back to bed again. πŸ˜‰

And that folks is a day in my bad days life. I can’t say disabled life because I’m always disabled, but there’s good days and bad days and this, is a bad day. I slept through most of it and I’m sorry to say it’s not over yet. Today was not a spasm free day.

But I hope we can see them in the future πŸ˜‰

A bit diffrent

Hello my dearest beams of sunlight!

So yesterday I went to my hairdresser to get my hair cut after two years. Yes you heard right, I didn’t cut it for two years. My hair was not tangled or anything but it got so long I just got tired of it. So i went from hair that went down to my boobs to hair that’s barely touches my shoulders.

and you know? I really really missed my shorter hair and really now when it’s some kinda of heatwave here in Karlskrona. OMG, we are burning up! And my epilepsy really don’t like when it’s this hot!
And it’s like this every summer. I get seizures and we have to cancel plans. I really hate this, but it’s just to suck it up and replan. But hey that’s disability life!