Hi my lovelies 💛🌻
Today I think we need to talk about living with mental illnesses. I was only 19 when I crashed into the wall of my own feelings and it just said BOOM! The stigma surrounding mentally ill and people with mental health problems is both very difficult and important to talk about, because people don’t see you as sick, because you don’t look sick.
I’ve heard this since the day it said boom and I couldn’t move from Antons arms because I was so afraid and scared. I have been told, while having an anxiety attack, that I needed just to “shake it of” and “grow up”. Well that’s not me. At least not anymore. Because for a long time after I got sick, I thought if I didn’t talk about it, it didn’t exist. But that lead to another crash and I had to learn how to talk about my feelings and dealing with them.
Now I am like an open book, almost. To function as a person and to cope with my feelings and dealing with anxiety and depression, I need to talk about how I feel and not just with a professional, I need to talk to my family and friends about my feelings. I write almost every night in a “mental journal” about my feelings just to kinda talk and sort out my feelings.
Now I know that I need to rest alot, that my body doesn’t work like everybody else does. Yes it sounds weird doesn’t it? But after learning the hard way, I’m now kinda proud of my self, learning to say no to things because I don’t have the energy to do it.
And now it’s been 2 years since my last mental breakdown. I still have anxiety and is depressed, but now I have the tools to cope with it. My therapist and I are working together to make sure that I have the tools for a better life. So the latest may seem easy for you, but for me personally it’s been a struggle. Since my first mental breakdown I’ve struggled with planning things (even before that) and never really used and understood why people have schedules of their days and day planners. But now, I am a slave for planning what I need to do with everything. And this is so I don’t use up all of my energy in just doing ONE thing.
Yes I know ?! It sounds soooooo basic, but this is my truth about my life. Without planning and sleeping, I am a no go and skips out of everything you may ask me. So basically now you know a little how its been for me living with mental illness.